Let me ask you a question:
Have you ever felt that mornings in your household go from calm to frantic in a matter of minutes – and that you often part ways feeling exhausted, demoralised and sad – vowing that tomorrow is going to be different?
Yeah, I think we all have.
Let me share with you 3 reasons this happens
- You are yet to make absolutely clear to yourself AND your family what needs to happen in the morning.
Emptying the dishwasher, while brushing teeth and shouting for the kids to come, is a recipe for disaster. But when we have a family chat about what needs doing, by when and in which order (which may require some trial and error) we can all sing from the same song sheet.
- You are not prepared.
I know. When do we ever get a break!? But hear me out. That snooze button on your alarm clock is oh so tempting. But… it backfires.
Because if we want to maintain our calm and help tying ties and shoe laces and deal with underwear changes because the labels itch… We can’t… if we are still trying to style our own hair, pack our own bag and iron that shirt that you didn’t have the energy to deal with the night before.
- You rush. And connection goes out of the window.
The one thing that oils the wheels when motivation is low (which, let’s face it, it often is at 7am when it is wet and windy and getting dark outside) is… CONNECTION.
Your ability to meet your child from a grounded place in what they’re doing – while knowing where you are going – is what makes it easier for our children to cooperate with us. Rushing, stressing and telling off makes them apply the brakes.
When you connect while you direct to your child – it may sound something like this:
“Let me see what you’re drawing / playing. I’ll leave this out for you so you can carry on working on it later… I see you’re dressed… what else do we need?”
A good routine is something we hone over time. When we pay attention to what happens in the build-up to entering into our stress state- we can begin to notice what works for our family and what might prevent us from having the kind of morning that feels good for all of us.
Perhaps you need to be more disciplined about your OWN part in creating a good morning?
Perhaps all you need is a family chat and some routine charts to get the kids motivated?
Perhaps you need to play around with the order of tasks in order for things to flow more easily?
Maybe take moment to reflect:
- What kind of atmosphere would I like to create in the morning?
- Could music, candle lights, ambient lighting, food, time, order of activities or something else – help us to create that atmosphere?
Get curious – and start to play around