What is love? Is it giving our kids what they want, when they want it? Endless hours of screen time? Endless sweets and dessert, hugs, kisses, food, clothes?
Love comes in many shapes and forms and yes love is a hug and a kiss and a ‘love you’, but love is more than that.Love is when we allow our kids to grow independent, strong and confident on their own but with us right behind them to catch them if they fall so they can get up and continue growing.
Love is when we give our kids what they NEED not what they want: healthy food, limited sugar, agreed & restricted screen time, realistic & agreed chores and responsibilities, consistent rules, consequences so they learn from their mistakes and for them to organise their everyday life and activities?
Children like rules, routine and responsibility; not only does it make them feel safe, secure and happy but also feel loved. You send a signal you are so great that I expect you to help at home. I love you so much that I want you to grow up and be able to follow rules so you can be happy in other societies. I love you so much that I don’t want to scream and yell at you, so we have clear routines that we all follow. I think you are so clever that you can do your own laundry! I believe in you and your ability because I love you, unconditionally.
So let’s make our kids happy and give them what they really need and in the process it will make you a more successful and happier parent. You will lead your child toward greater independence and self-reliance which will not only help them to do better at school but will also boost their confidence – and send a strong signal that they are worth your time and that ‘I LOVE YOU SO MUCH’.
So ask yourself: what does your child need in order to be happy?
- For you to give back some of the self-imposed chores you have taken upon yourself to do and start allowing your child to do them for themselves.
- To start having planned chores and responsibilities, so your child gets a chance to show what they really can do.
- More realistic consequences, in order for them to become responsible for their own behaviour and actions.
- Give your child the time and space to problem-solve their own every day issues, without you stepping in to fix them!
- For you to step back and allow your child to make a mistake, get up, fix it, try again and enjoy the success, which they have achieved.
Also get to know your child’s love language in order to really show them that you love them CLICK HERE to read more.
All the best from
The ParentingSuccess Coaching Team
CLICK here for more family tips