These words of wisdom are often offered by us when conflict erupts between our children; when our youngest copies our oldest – and our oldest is about to lose it. “Just don’t react” If only it were that easy for a child. Or for us, for that matter. Because the truth is, irrespective of our…
One of the most challenging aspects of parenting is staying sane in the face of our children’s counter-will. There are many words for what happens when our children refuse to cooperate with us; opposition defiance or stubbornness. The list goes on. And in the heat of the moment it can feel almost impossible to not…
Sibling quarrels can be one of the biggest stresses and threats to a happy home life. They will often fight over things that feel trivialt to us; who gets more who won and who gets to choose first. And you might have found that no matter how often yout tell them that these things don’t…
Are you dreading your child’s reaction?
· There is more to saying no than merely uttering this two letter word. The fact that our child's reaction is out of our control can make it tempting to stretch further than we actually want to in the pursuit of keeping the peace. But - there is a price to pay ·
If you were to be given a coin for every time your child asks you a question that requires you to say yes or no – and often RIGHT NOW – you would be laughing all the way to the bank. Numerous times a day we get to flex our boundary setting muscles which should…
As a parent we all want for our child to feel confident enough to take a big bite out of life. To share themselves and their talents with the world and grow up knowing that they are more than the grades on their report card. But how exactly do we foster these qualities in our…
“He’s addicted” Said a father of a teenage boy to me in a private session. He and his wife had sought my support to help them deal with their son’s obsessive gaming and YouTube habits. These parents were deeply concerned for their son, who since the first lockdown had become increasingly withdrawn and interested only…
Have you ever found it hard not to set the record straight when your child tells you that you’re rude or ALWAYS say no and JUST DON’T GET IT? If so – you are completely normal. It can feel almost impossible to resist the urge to contradict and defend against what can feel like an…
Three reasons threats don’t work as a motivation strategy
· You might think to yourself; threats never did me any harm when I stepped out line. So what's the big problem? The thing is, threats work in the here and now but don't give you what you ultimately yearn for ·
I think very few parents can say they’ve never given a threat when faced with a child who just WILL NOT listen. After all, most of us were raised in this way. “Do this..or…” ‘Threat’ may sound like an exaggeration to you. But if a friend or your partner talked to you in this way…
…. Is that strong will is healthy. Commonly we speak about strong will in children as if it is a diagnosis. Something that needs curing. And preferably without us having to look at our own share in how this character trait has become a problem for the family. I think we are all aware that…
The screen use report that appeared on my phone the other day gave me a shock. Mixture of defensiveness and shame washed over me as I stared in disbelief at the hours and minutes that my clever iPhone had worked out that I had been active on my phone. How can this be – when…
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I'm your coach. Your mentor. Your family advisor. I’m the one who guides you in the direction of the parent that you wish to be.
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